The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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