I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
