I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
fuck your aforementioned shoe
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Randomize
