She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
