he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
How does it feel to date your dad?
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
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