Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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