you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize