I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
