You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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