I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
