TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I want a musical about memes.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Randomize
