I wish I could punch you in the face.
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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