I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
