Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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