Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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