we have pet lesbian snakes
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
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