is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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