Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
