Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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