I feel like I'm in dance class right now
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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