dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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