Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Randomize
