is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
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We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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