I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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