Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
