she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
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Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize