UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
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