You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
How naked do you want me to be?
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
