I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Randomize
