We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
My pussy is not your playground.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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