did you get engaged???
Is it normal to miss your booty call?
somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
