Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Randomize
