It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
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