he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
