I need to stop coming to work sober
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
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