I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
If I die, sorry about rent.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
