well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
