you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
This is the high leading the old right now
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
