Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
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