hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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