The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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