the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize