3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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