Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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