yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
