her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
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We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
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