So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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