lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
