I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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