k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
