Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
