She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Randomize
