Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
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